You suck. Please be over already.
You don't have to try very hard, but please please be better than June. This isn't really asking much. I'm sure you can do it. I have faith in you.
Dear commuters on the 10:50pm to Lidcome:
PLEASE BE MORE CAREFUL. One passenger-in-my-carriage emergency per train trip ONLY, please. Two is just careless. The little-old-lady-falling-into-the-gap-at-Central routine can be forgiven (and ma'am, I'm glad you're alright), but the woman who passed out like a ton of bricks at my feet as I went to disembark, it was like she was just rubbing it in. I've been at work, have been commuting home for well over an hour, have already dealt with one passenger emergency (see: previous) and would rather not be yelling for the train guard while checking your pulse and trying to make sure your feet don't jam in the door. Again, I'm glad you seemed to be OK (by the time I had handed your possessions to the train guard, ascertained that you were conscious & seemed to have a safe friend with you), but you might want to get your head seen to before you go to sleep. That was a concussion-inducing thump you went down with. Next time, try falling off slightly lower high heels. Or not being so drunk that you're incapable of breaking your fall.
Sincerely, Random Fellow Commuter.