The Right Thing
The past few weeks have been like that perfect night out with friends post-break-up, where every sigh and misty moment is redirected immediately into laughter and fierce, joyful love of my people and my world. Like a gift from the universe, all of it- the right things at the right times, enough strength to enjoy it without going overboard, restraint in pleasure, making investments in the value of real things (like new-old friends and scary new connections). I feel so lucky to be so supported in something that was not, and is not, an easy thing to do.
I don't know where my social anxiety has disappeared off to but I hope it stays there, far away, because this ability to take & enjoy social risks is way more fun.
I wound up going to see The Gossip last night with barely a few hours notice ("got a spare ticket- meet us out front"). So startled to even be there, no time to prepare myself for it, just rocked up and rocked out with a crew of people who a few months ago I would've been nervous even chatting to for too long. Beth is absolutely stunning, of course, the femmiest, cute-as-a-button-est Southern-Lady-est vision in sparkling pink eyeshadow I've ever seen close up. And that voice, and that fierce motion..! Radical queer politics (completely over the heads of the 70% of the crowd who were clueless 19-year old hip straight people, but fist-pumpingly exciting to the other 30% of us) just seals the deal really.
Being a total dork, I teared up during "Standing In The Way Of Control". Couldn't help it. I've never had an Anthem that I was the right age for, before, and there really is something powerfully affirming about a song that not only fucking rocks, was also written about struggles that I've personally participated in. I guess that's the point of Anthems, that's what they represent to those people at that time, and this one is so much for us. Like any art that shines back some real part of your life, it's powerful.