Eh-Dah-Mah-Me

It is so freeing to be small and cute, or alternatively to be cold hard lines of pure object. I have moments of flashing joy for living in a world where I really do get to do these things, and people really do get to do them to me, where kink is a valid vocabulary and I get to make it up as I go.

When I first got into pony play, I searched and searched and could not find any other lesbian pony-players in the world. Almost all the literature and imagery I could find was extremely heterosexist: "ha ha! Isn't it fun to have a gagged woman on a rope! Look at the tits on this one!" And so it is with the new area of interest, although that word I am not sure applies entirely: forniphilia, where I can find it described, is very specifically about the binding of a woman by a man. Once again: "whee! Isn't it fun what I, big strong man, can do to my willing and eager woman!" And I am so fascinated by objectification, so intrigued by the notion of stripping someone's humanity and even their animality from them, to leave them simply an object (functional, sexual or otherwise), to take living flesh and turn it into a coffee table, a footrest, a fuck toy. But there is something so banal and awful about the way it is discussed in every piece of information I have found so far, it makes me unwilling to align my interest with theirs.

Is it the 'straightness' of it that bothers me, I wonder? The loathsome misogyny (but then where do I draw the line? Why is his misogyny and mine not?)? Or just the screaming lack of creativity ("look at the wonderful materials I have at hand, and the boring things I am able to make from them")?

Eventually I found queer pony players (male and female), and found many more subtle variations of animal play than exist at first exploration on the internet. I hope the same is true of objectification play. And really, whether I ever find a larger community that fits with my vision or not, that doesn't stop it on a personal level from making my sex really really hot.

But again, the freedom of being little and young and contained. "When I'm with you, I'm with the girl. But sometimes I can see the woman the girl is going to become". Pop the edamame from the shell, and giggle and revel at simple greenness, roundness, sweetness. And only hear the important things through this filter of small joys.